An Example of Proofreading Comments

Below find the proofreading comments like those I left in a student's rhetorical analysis. I left the text I changed while proofreading in red, and I left comments like the following at the end of her documents. She can use my comments as a means of developing an error log, that is, a working list of errors for which she knows to look when proofreading. These are the kind of comments I am hoping you will provide for your groupmate's work:

1. I corrected a couple of run-on sentences. Run-on sentences happen when one combines multiple independent clauses into a single sentence without using a mark of punctuation and/or a conjunction. If you can figure out how to recognize what an independent clause is, I can show you how to recognize what you need to do to successfully combine two or more into a single sentence. It's an error I had to learn to look for in my own work.

2. I added periods to a number of your sentences. You had a tendency to leave off periods in the analysis section of your rhetorical analysis.

3. Once, when you confused "ethics" with "ethos," I corrected it.

4. I added a "t" to "daugher" to make it "daughter." Again, I can relate to spelling errors. I make them all the time. Learning to use a spell checker and an online dictionary and knowing to look were how I learned to correct *most* of my own spelling errors.

5. I changed "did'nt" to "didn't." Both of these last errors were easily recognized through the use of a spell checker. In this case, "n't" is the contraction for "not," and I just added it to the word "did." The apostrophe--the " ' "--shows you dropped one or more letters to create a contraction. It

I made my changes in red. I combined the technique of looking for a specific type of error--in your case using commas to combine sentences and using periods to end them--with the technique of using a spell check. I left errors for others in your group to correct. You would catch a lot of what I saw by always using a spell checker and by making a pass when you proofread looking specifically for punctuation errors. --Steve

FYI: Resource Post

OK. I admit it. I am a nerd. I not only teach writing, I write and read about writing. One of the ways I stay caught up is by reading blogs which focus (at least in part) on writing, and some of the best lessons I have ever learned about writing come from these blogs. Lifehack is one such blog; Zen Habits is another. Today's Lifehack post has the intriguing title: "How to Write: In a Thousand Words (or Less)." The Lifehack post has the best, short, to the point advice I've seen lately on how to write well. Here's the linky:

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-to-write-in-a-thousand-words-or-less.html

It's worth your time to read and to take to heart.

Here's a second post from Web Worker Daily. It discusses some of the lessor known features on Gmail, one of which is how to set up Group Contacts. Since you are working in groups, I thought I'd pass it along. As always, what I'm giving you in these resource posts is a resource. You don't have to use it. Equally important, you aren't required to use them. For some, they may make life easier. Here's the linky:

http://webworkerdaily.com/2008/06/11/taking-gmail-to-the-next-level-with-little-used-feature/

As always, write with questions.

Steve

Writing Assignment: Due Sunday, 15 June

In this assignment you will learn and practice several new proofreading/editing techniques, and you should come out of it more comfortable working with your group and collaborating through google docs.

1. By now, you should have created a document containing your first five rhetorical analysis and shared it with the members of your group. Your group members will need this document to complete their work, so if you haven't produced this document yet, you need to do so now. I am fairly lenient with students who need an extension for an assignment; I am much, much less lenient if your having to get an assignment in late affects the ability of another student to learn. The upshot? If you still haven't joined a group or you need to get an email address for a member, go to the shared, google document, "Class List: ENG 111, Summer 2008." If you haven't added your information to this document, get on the stick, and if you're having trouble doing so or in using google document, get in touch with a group member who knows what they are doing, visit the Google Support Center, or call or write me. You will be using this technology the rest of the semester.

2. Go back into the blog and re-read my post entitled, "Proofreading Notes." This post should introduce you to a few new proofreading techniques. If you already have tried them all, research proofreading and find one you haven't tried and which isn't listed. If you find one and share it via the email list for the class, you'll receive extra credit for class participation!
My post should also teach you the place of proofreading in the writing process, that is, the last step prior to turning in your writing for publication. This is exactly where you are with your first five rhetorical analysis. The reason we wait so late to proofread is because we assume you'll be making changes to your writing as you revise, like you have on your analysis based on the feedback you've received from your group and on your own reading of their work. If you proofread and polish the surface features of writing you then revise, you've wasted effort; so, it makes sense to proofread and edit almost last.

3. Read each of the revised drafts produced by your group members. As you do, employ a method of proofreading which is new to you. This means you'll try out one new method of proofreading per member of your group. Not every method works for every editor, but you have to try them out to figure out which methods work best for you.

4. As you find mistakes or places which could be improved, you are to do two things: A) fix the first five mistakes you find in each draft; and B) go down to the bottom of the revised draft and make a note of the errors you fixed.
Step B is designed to leave the author of the revised draft on which you are working with something called an "Error List." Authors use such Error Lists to figure out which surface level feature of writing, that is, which grammar, usage, or spelling mistake, they will next learn to recognize and fix in their own writing. If you get used to working on one error at a time, over time you soon find yourself able to recognize and fix most of the common errors to which you are prone. Over time, you will find yourself less and less reliant on others to read and fix your work for you.

4A. Some notes on how to handle the Error List with multiple proofreaders:

i) Pick a color of text in which to work. This is *your* color of text, and no one else can have it. You may want to talk to your group members before each of you begins editing, and decide on which color each member will use.
You produce text in a specific color by selecting the text you want to change, and then using the "A" tab next to the underline, italics, and bold tab on the google docs editing page. Pick a color you like, as I am going to ask you to use it for the rest of the semester. My own is red, the ucky color traditionally used by editors and English teachers; so, pick another color besides red. By having your own color of text in which to edit, I'll be able to recognize your work and so with the authors with whom you work. (Side note: The reason English teachers have bled red on your papers in the past is that early editors assumed it was an easy color to see, it contrasted with most early inks, which were black or brown, and there is a traditional association in English society with danger.]
ii) Make the changes to the draft in which you are working in your color of text, and, as you list the errors you fix, write your contribution to the Error List in your color. Being able to go into the document and see the surface level errors you are catching will let me better grade your work, that is, I can see what you have done; but, more importantly, it may provide me with a clue as to what I should suggest you work on in terms of your own writing, and it lets the author recognize the work of each editor.
iii) Make sure to include a section of the revised draft just after the error list you produce, in which you leave me and your team member a note saying something like:

"Color Code:
1) This is Steve Brandon, and I'm editing in red. In this document I used the proofreading technique of reading out loud. It felt a little weird, but I did see errors I normally would have missed."
2) ...."

iv) Finally, if you find yourself fixing the same kind of error someone else has fixed, place a star beside this error in your own color. Seeing one or more stars will tell the author, "This error occurred more than once; it's one I produce regularly in my writing; so, it's one I might consider learning how to recognize and fix on my own."
v) Remember, when you proofread, you aren't trying to offer suggestions about how to change anything but the surface level polish of the piece. You are looking at grammar, usage, and spelling--nothing else. By the way, usage refers to using a word like "their" when you meant "there" or "they're" or to using a weak, vague verb instead of a strong, precise one. In any event, the assumption is that by the time the author has asked for someone else to edit their work, the deep level work, like organization, development, etc. has already been done.

As always, write with questions.

The Writing Process or The Process Theory of Writing

A couple of decades ago, those of us who teach writing and spoken communication rediscovered another idea the Greeks had visited first, namely, that of trying to describe the various stages a speaker or writer goes through as they produce a message. The Greek and Roman version of these stages or process were called the Canons of Rhetoric. The modern version developed from these canons is called, "The Writing Process" or the "Process Theory of Writing."

Modern process theory encourages writers to learn first hand the value of breaking down the task of crafting a successful message, and you are taught to think of writing as a series of somewhat ordered tasks. You are also encouraged to give your most or your full attention to the task in front of you, figure out what needs to be done next, and so on. When we studied successful writers, we found most had some common features in terms of their writing process: 1) they had learned to focus on one aspect of the job of writing at a time; 3) they were able to move between these various aspects of writing with practiced ease; 3) they had a deep knowledge of various techniques they could pull from for any one stage of the process; 4) they tended to use other readers and writers at various stages of their writing process; and, 5) if they could, they took the time to repeatedly revise their early drafts.

Much of how we currently teach students to write came from a combination of techniques used to teach rhetoric in the classical and Neo-Classical periods, and much comes from studies of successful and unsuccessful writers. Here's what we found out about marginally successful and beginning writers: 1) rather than focusing all their attention on solving the next problem involved in producing a text, they tend to see writing as just getting their ideas on paper and then proofreading; 2) they tend to think in terms of the product they have to produce instead of the process they will use to produce the product; 3) they tend to believe that writing well is more a matter of talent than it is a skill set and craft anyone can learn; 4) many believe they are "good at math" and "hate English"; 5) they tend to try to produce a finished product in way too short a time, not allowing enough time for the process to work for them; 5) they tend to write as they speak, with minimal thought given to the rhetorical situation in which they write or how to use rhetoric to focus what they say; 6) they tend to confuse and conflate creative or academic writing with other genres of writing; 7) they tend to focus on surface features of writing--like grammar and spelling--instead of their messages' effectiveness or deep meaning; 7) they don't allow enough time to successfully craft a message; and, 8) they tend to only go through one or two revisions. If you see yourself in the description above, you are far from alone.

The Process Theory of Writing is designed to teach you multiple techniques for tackling the tasks involved in each stage of crafting a successful message, and it encourages you to see writing as a process of tasks rather than as just something you do when inspired. If you learn this approach and practice it, you will become a better writer. Almost all the research supports this contention.

We usually divide the writing process into these various steps (Learn them, because you'll be hearing these terms throughout the rest of the semester:

Prewriting--In this step, you do the work needed prior to beginning to draft your text. You decide on what topic you'll write on. You decide which audience you'll write for. You decide on how you will develop your topic. You figure out what you can say. You figure out your purpose(s) for writing, and the rhetorical situation in which you will write. You figure out the order in which to present your ideas and/or to develop them. One reason I have you working on basic rhetorical analysis is to give you some practice figuring out the situations in which you will be writing and communicating prior to ever opening your mouth. Make prewriting a conscious part of your writing process, and I'll be suggesting tactics for answering prewriting questions, doing an audience analysis, discovering what you can say, and organizing your writing.

Drafting--This step involves you in just getting the your ideas down on paper. Often it's the hardest step for beginning writers, and it's where verbal constipation can occur, that is, if you try to cram all the other steps in writing into drafting.

Revision--In this step you move through multiple drafts of your text looking at various aspects of your text. You make sure the text uses the right tone and approach for your audience. You make sure it strikes the right balance between formality and informality. You think about changes to your organization and to how you present your ideas. You look for places to add an example, evidence, an illustration, a story, or further evidence. You cut out places where you repeat. In short, you make changes to content or the deep meaning of your message.

Proofreading/editing--One edits another's paper. One proofreads one own. In this step, you look at grammar, usage, and spelling. It's here where you tackle surface level issues which don't have anything to do with content. Overtime, you develop a set of issues for which you know you have to look. Keeping an error log, that is, a list of your frequent errors in usage, spelling, and grammar is one of the tricks of the trade. It helps you keep an index of all the issues for which you have to look and on which you need to work. Issues drop out as you figure out how to recognize and fix them, and they are added as your writing process changes, introducing more chances for new errors.

Review--In this step, you take your message or text, and you judge what you've done, what tactics worked and which didn't. In the Rhetorical Canons, there used to be a canon for rhetorical memory. Literally, this was your memory of tricks which had worked in the past, tricks you could use in producing the text you're working on currently. By making review a conscious step to add to your rhetorical memory, to review your texts and their effectiveness, you develop a repertoire or a library of ways to write (and not to write). Essentially what you are doing here is a kind of post mortem rhetorical analysis of a message you have already produced.

This division makes the notion of the writing process seem very straightforward. "Follow these steps, and you'll produce good writing." It turns out, however, the division of writing into the steps above is useful as a rubric, but most real writers follow a more messy actual process. The upshot? Learn the terms of the writing process. Think about how they apply to the processes you use to produce texts. Become especially aware of places where you can make a simple change to your process by adding, say, a conscious step in which you figure out your organization prior to writing; but, don't try to slavishly follow rubric above. It can be done, but it's a recipe for frustration. Most on how to use the writing process rubric to improve your writing in tomorrow's post.

The Big Picture Post: What You Should Have Learned To Date

You are four weeks into a ten week course. You have:

1. Learned how to do a basic rhetorical analysis. This means you have the basic tools to begin to see why and how authors craft their messages in the ways they do. Armed with this knowledge and continuing to practice rhetorical analysis, you have the major means authors learn from other authors and can forgo the single hardest kind of learning, that is, through trail and many, many painful errors.
2. You have been introduced to the terms: logos, ethos, and pathos; appeals (as in logos, ethos, and pathos); author; audience; authorial or rhetorical purpose; noise; message; identification; craft; rhetorical analysis; rhetoric; genre; criticism; languages of power; constructive criticism; rhetorical or authorial or audience charity; proofreading; editing; revision; draft; writing process; and catharsis. This means you have begun to acquire a vocabulary which will allow you to think about your own writing and writing process in a more objective, logical way. By developing and practicing your ability to use this new terminology and new way to analyze writing, you are learning to judge how to improve your own writing. (We call the ability to talk objectively and logically about one's own writing, a metadiscouse.) Gaining the ability to see and judge details of one's own writing (and that of others) is a major step in a writer's development. You no longer have a vague sense of "it flows" or "it works"; instead, you can say, "The author's purpose for this message was to do X, Y, and Z. The message accomplishes X but not Y and Z, so it is only partially successful. The author does a good job using ethos. For instance, if you look at this aspect of her writing, she does A, B, and C; but, she could have done a better job by doing D. One reason the message wasn't completely successful was because the author didn't use logos as much as she should have, and she over used pathos. Here's what I mean... ." You get the idea. Every insight you gain by doing such analysis on a regular basis--especially of your own writing--is one you can then turn around and use to make your own, future messages more successful.
3. You have learned to judge communication as successful or not successful, and you've learned to judge success based on what the author is trying to do. This new way of looking at writing is essential to becoming a good writer, because it moves you away from vague judgments of "good writing=standard English" or, worse, "good writing=what my teacher says is good writing." This new means of thinking about good writing makes you--and not someone else--the judge of good writing. Since most of your life as a writer is going to be spent away from professors and teachers, learning to judge your own writing and how to improve it is a HUGH step toward becoming a confident, fluent, independent, adult writer.
4. You have learned that there is always something you can do to make your messages more successful, but you might not have"world enough and time" to do the work necessary. Over the next few weeks, I'll introduce you to the notion of process vs product, and teach you to zero in your energy on the high impact, small changes you can make to improve your messages. I'll also get you to begin to look at messages in terms of the question: "What is the best, most effective next step I can take to improve this message?"
5. You have learned how to look at the work others have done to figure out ways to improve or revise your own drafts. This is a basic means of researching a genre, that is, a type of writing. It is also one of the best means of learning the difference between your understanding of an audience or genre and that of others.
6. You have begun learning how to adapt your writing process to new writing tools, like gmail, email lists, and google documents. You'll be doing such adaptation over your lifetime as a writer. Equally, important, you've learned to tap into various means of learning new tech. Don't underestimate the importance of learning to read a help page or learning that Cousin Joe likes answering computer questions. Learning how to use others and outside sources of information to answer essential questions is called: research.
7. Most of you have found a writer's group with whom to work. As we move into the next few weeks, these groups will allow you to gain practice in terms of your metadiscourse and various aspects of your writing skills while helping other writers.
8. You have learned how to use google docs, which means you are no longer tied to one computer to save the documents on which your work or tied on your desktop or laptop and its applications to do successful writing. You have begun using learn to use writing and collaboration tools whose only limitations are if they are tied to the internet; so, as the internet grows and your access to it increases, your ability to do productive work from almost anywhere will also increase. For instance, I am writing this post from the easy chair in my living room. There's a lot to be said for working in bedroom slippers. As gas prices increase and the next generation or workers begins to understand what can be accomplished by collaborating and working on the web, you will find more and more jobs which have you working via the web or next to a client rather than just in an office.
9. You have begun to learn how to work with other authors in a collaborative writing environment and on collaborative projects. Your knowledge here is still in its infancy, but it will blossom through out the rest of the semester. Again, learning how to appropriately use others in your writing is a HUGH step in learning how to become the kind of writer you want to be. More important, industry requires you to know how to work in groups. For instance, most businesses and health care takes place in the context of teams.

That is a lot to learn in only a few weeks, and I hope it has been relatively painless. More importantly, I hope you appreciate and take pride in how much you have learned about becoming a better writer and about how to judge good writing, especially your own. Learning to have confidence in one's ability to take on difficult tasks, figure out how to do the task, persistence in doing whatever work is needed to fully accomplish one's self assigned task, and finishing--these are all part of developing the attitude and tone of quite, self-confidence most American audiences want from their authors, co-workers, leaders, and experts. (OK. Get *someone* to give you a pat on the back. We're about to get back to work.)

If you didn't pick up on some of the lessons I discussed above, reflect about them and how you might have learned them or learned them better. Did you do all the reading--that is, read the blog and follow the links off of the blog to additional reading? Did you look up or research online terms you didn't completely understand? Have you read enough of the class list to learn from it? Have you paid attention to and taken the time to reflect on what is being said on the list--especially posts I have written--and on the class blog? Have you taken the opportunity to offer read the work of several of your classmates, offer feedback, and receive feedback from them? Have you taken the time to not only write your analysis, to read those of others, reflect on your own, and figure out how to improve your own work? Have you written me with questions? Have you paid attention to those questions I have answered for others in the class? How much time have you invested in these learning opportunities?

Our next move in the class will have you continuing to write rhetorical analysis--one or two each week, while you work with your group to perfect the rhetorical analysis you have already written. We will also move into a section of the class which will discuss the idea of process. Process, like Rhetoric, is one of the four of five major concepts in the class. This new section of the class will have you and your group thinking about your own writing process AND trying to get you to figure out where you are in terms of the process of becoming the kind of writer *you* want to be.

Over the next couple of days, I will be making several posts; so, stay tuned. There's more coming.

As always, write with questions.

Resource Post: How to Search the Class Email List for a Particular Person's Emails

To do a search for all the emails written to the class email list from a particular person or on a particular topic:

1. Log on to your gmail account.
2. Enter this address into the address bar of your browser:

http://groups.google.com/group/eng111summer2008reynolds

3. Next to the name, "ENG111Summer2008Reynolds," you should see a box with a button named, "search this group." This box--among other things-- allows you to search all the emails from yourself or others, like me (prof.brandon@gmail.com), by entering an email address as your search keyword. By using this method, you can see all the emails you have sent to the class list. You can also make sure you are seeing all the emails I have written or those sent by your group members.

This is the method I use to look at the work an individual student or group has done on the list or to pull a particular email from the list using a keyword search.

As always, write with questions.